Being tossed after your first sexual encounter with a partner is more than just physical ghosting. It includes revealing a new side of them to you, as well as revealing their true self. Even when they are present, they generally become emotionally unavailable.
The first response is usually self-blame, followed by attempts to repair the situation. When you don’t get closure or they give you a version of what happened your confidence suffers. Finally, there is pain or heartbreak.
What about the other part of the story? What went terribly wrong that they didn’t or were afraid to tell you about?
It had to do with sex
You probably assumed that all of the romantic activities or dressing up they did were to make it special for you as well.
However, most people do things like wear lingerie or pay for an expensive evening out simply to feel good about themselves.
Depending on how long you were together, you probably weren’t familiar enough with each other’s bodies to get intimate.
Expectations not met
The first time you meet someone, no no matter how knowledgeable you are, can be awkward. Furthermore, you are probably not at ease enough to laugh at any weirdness or mishaps.
It may also be difficult to have the life-changing orgasm that both of you have fantasized about in your chat.
Nerves
There was nervous energy and tension that did not go away. You most likely did not recognize the stress of first-time pressure.
If you ignore this nervous energy, small mistakes can appear larger than they are.
It was far too serious/performance-oriented
There was no sexual attraction. It was almost mechanical, and they were eager for it to be over.
Anticipation can make you believe that you and a prospective sexual partner are a perfect match. On the contrary, other factors have a significant impact on the outcome. Communication is included.
Under the surface of first dates, there is also a desire to impress or perform instead of enjoy each other.
Excellent intentions
It was hurried. You both did it for the opposite reason and expected a positive outcome.
They felt pressured and gave in because they wanted to prove something. The aftereffects were regret, shame, or guilt.
